Something which I have always find interesting is other peoples views on relationship. Now most people will say why does it matter what others think about your relationship and mostly I don't care BUT other people seem to think they have a right to say something?
You can't be happy with one of you being disabled and the other not?
Why would Dan stay with you now you're disabled?
Well one of you is better looking than the other so doesn't that make you worry in your relationship and disability?
Isn't he throwing his life away now that you're disabled?
Don't you think Dan is cheating with someone who isn't disabled?
Now these questions may seem ridiculous but these are questions that I have had to face now being a disabled person, not only have I had to very quickly learn what these changes to my body mean as well as what others views are now, but also I have had to face questions which I never had to face before.
Please imagine you and your partner are walking and see someone you know, you and your partner are both abled bodied, and they say to you,' Oh you know he/she is cheating on you because one of you is taller than the other, or one of you is better looking than the other?'
Now that is very unlikely to happen unless you have really rubbish friends (I mean unless they actually know something) but making these assumptions on the differences between the two in a relationship.
Now if we based relationships on the difference between the two people then no one would think that Dan and I are perfect for each other, but of course we know we are. I like white chocolate, he likes dark chocolate, I like ice cream, he hates it, he likes spicy food and I'm a korma kind of girl. But to me these differences are what make our relationship special because one, we never have to share anything because we like different things and two, who cares what we like or don't like it, we are perfect for each other.
Now I shouldn't really have to explain my relationship to anyone, ever! But we live in 2020 where everyone thinks they have some sort of claim into other peoples lives.
To answer the questions:
I know Dan is not cheating on me, he already has one crazy woman in his life to deal with so why would he need two?? He spends all of his time working to try and help us while I can't work because he supports me in every aspect of my life, I mean the man moved to the other side of the country for me so I could chase my dream and go to uni. He gave up everything to do that just for me so, why would he cheat on me after going through all of that?
Next, for me my disabilities have gotten worse over time, that means that I didn't just wake up one day and everything went to shit. Progressively over time my physical and mental health has declined and that is why I have ended up where I am today. I am still able to do a lot for myself and I also do whatever I can for him as any person does in a relationship.
I mean some of these questions I don't think I can answer for him, he would need to answer them himself but we also don't like to air our dirty washing to the world. We don't post lots of things on social media not because we are hiding anything or we are really private, it is just because we do not feel the need to do so because we are happy with the way we are.
Now enough about my relationship, I want to be more generalised, you never understand what is going on within a relationship, words and questions and opinions can sometimes hurt people and hurt their relationship. Who knows what could have happened if I had taken the idea of Dan cheating to heart with no evidence other than because I am disabled. Others could take that to heart and it could ruin their bond.
Other than this, I know it can be difficult to talk about subjects such as disability because obviously every has questions and sometimes you want answers to these questions purely because you are interested and curious. The best way for these questions to be answered is just by asking, being polite and courteous in the way the questions are asked. I would rather someone ask me and have an open conversation with me than just making assumptions.
Disability is interesting and curious and different. Just try and be kind to others, if you don't want to ask nicely then just don't ask, or Google it or anything else other than being rude haha!
Anyway enough of that,