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Becoming Disabled

It sounds scary I know, becoming disabled but for me this is a reality. Through an injury and three years of doctors plying me with painkillers, I have been left disabled.

Growing up I wasn't the most active of people but I liked to move, walk and part take in social events with my friend. I loved going out into town and dancing and partying with my best friends. I pursued my dream of becoming a performer or singer and moved from Scunthorpe to Liverpool to go to university and start my undergraduate degree. I loved my degree in Creative and Performing Arts dancing, singing and including drama in all of my devised pieces of work. I then continued this dream and applied for my masters in Performance. This is where things became a bit more difficult. I had to start using a crutch as a walking aid to help me get around and this really played on my mental health. All my friends who knew me then looked at me differently as I was no longer Megan but I was Megan with a crutch which gets in the way.

This to me was the most difficult and infuriating thing. I not only had to come to terms with the fact that I could no longer do what I used to be able to do at the age of 22 but, I also had to face my friends and family and people who knew me as this changed person. Now I'm not looking for sympathy or someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. I know things aren't going to be okay or get better and this is just a way I have to learn to live but when you can't do what your friends can it really does isolate you.

My friends stopped inviting me out and they would talk about me as Megan with the injury and not just Megan. I couldn't go to town and go out dancing anymore but I can go to the pub and sit and drink with my friends. I can go round and socialise and spend time with them but I get pushed to the back of the queue.

I am hoping that someone reading this would be able to gain an understanding of people who are disabled. It isn't something which can be helped or changed but it doesn't change who the person is on the inside. My worry in life now is that I have had to apply for a wheelchair as I can't walk very far and that this is going to hinder my social life and friendships even further. If these people couldn't handle me with my crutch then who knows how a wheelchair is going to go over.

I know this seems depressing and you are probably feeling a bit down now but that is not my intention. You do not need to feel sorry for me or anyone else living with a disability but remember that I am Megan who lives with a disability not Disabled Megan. It is not a definition of who I am and I think people need to ask those questions which are taboo or a bit on the nose and try to understand what a new life is like.

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